“Dad?!” Kerry Washington’s closing line, part question / part statement, hung in silence at the end of the season finale and paralyzed every viewer with disbelief.If you haven’t seen the last episode of ABC’s hit show Scandal yet, I don’t pity your lazy soul. If, however, you’re one of those people who are catching up by watching the seasons in bulk, I incite your efforts. Most importantly, stop reading now.
It’s been a little over two weeks and I still find myself in conversations that began: “have we talked about the Scandal finale yet?” I finally know how my granny felt when she planned her domestic duties of a housewife around The Young & the Restless; by Thursday night at 10:12 PM EST I must be parked in front of my TV. I won’t take calls. Texting is scarce. I watch it via DVR a bit delayed so I can fast-forward the commercials. I modestly tweet equivocal reactions – enough to let my followers know I’m watching. Not too much for the sake of my friends on the left coast.
And here I am, nearly fourteen days later – perplexed by the fate of Olivia Pope as if she’s my best friend, commiserative of the union between Fitz and Mellie like their my own parents, worried about Cyrus like he’s my uncle with a quick temper and bad heart. Shonda Rhimes I hate you for feeling like this! I hate you for creating this show that won’t return to night-time television for another 100+ days. I hate you for the weekly, Thursday night heart palpitations, for creating a wonderfully miserable heroine like Olivia Pope, for Hollis’ annoying, Texas accent. I hate you because we all hate Cyrus’ husband, for letting ABC interject 3-week breaks amid the season and for the awkward sex scenes between David and the red-head. I hate you because Quinn is a character I used to like, and feel sorry for and now she’s cold-blooded killer. I hate you because you made us watch Huck suffer in that hole, because we all had nightmares about “7:52”. I hate you because just when I thought Olivia had caught her big break by way of the blue-eyed knight in shining armor (Jake), it turns out he banged her because he was ordered to by her dad. Now Olivia’s dad ain’t worth a hill of beans either and let’s be honest, we don’t need any more negative stereotypes in the dad department. I hate you because Fitz is a punk, a punk I’d punch on sight if I caught him in these streets. A punk who would make me catch a charge. I hate you because ain’t nobody got time for that.
And let’s be clear, Shonda: to hate like this is to be happy forever—(Word to Will Blythe). You’ve corralled a fan-base of gladiators worldwide who will always watch your show; I hate that we love you.
-Brian Riddick
Author
